Unwinding is a choice. A poem for the busy and overstretched.
Tendrils winding and unwinding in Cartagena, Colombia. January 2022.
When are you next planning to unwind?
And in this busy, demanding world where there’s always more to do, how can you ensure you will really do switch off?
I just returned from an incredible 20-day family break in Colombia. My first international travel since 2019, and my toddler daughter’s first voyage overseas.
Although I knew that the purpose of the trip was to spend quality with my brother and his Colombian partner, meet her family and have a much-needed adventure… why did I pack my laptop?!
There were reasons. Good ones.
I had just launched my new programme for leaders, The Strengths Liberation Lab, and on the eve of my trip I felt in full flow.
You know the feeling, the exhilaration of being all-in on a mission. I had new projects kicking off and new clients onboarding…
I just could not imagine not having my 10 tabs open, not having the facility of ‘just checking something.’
But when I arrived, the reality of unwinding hit me. Or rather dawned on me slowly, like a Caribbean sunrise.
All my reasons to stay plugged in just faded away.
Reader, I didn’t open my laptop for the full 18 days.
Not once.
It was like the fibres of my being told my mind…
Ummm… nope.
There was a time when the ‘shoulds’ would have won.
I used to crash and burn a couple of times a year from pushing myself too hard.
My Inner Critic would give me hell.
Instead, this time, I found myself heeding that deeper call. Shaming myself less often for being lazy or not enough.
The more I unhooked from the guilt of the laptop, the more present I was able to be with my loved ones. With my food.
With the music.
With the wildlife, plants and sea.
I made notes about life, work and family on my phone.
I popped into Permission O’Clock because I felt like it, not because I felt I ‘should’.
I scribbled in my journal as and and when. One of my notes read:
‘Shoulds’ are the enemy of unwinding. Unwinding means gently letting go of the expectations we hold ourselves to. Yes, even the ones that feel like they define who we are.
I give myself permission to release the show-up-at-all-costsness. The one that helps me succeed, but also costs me my rest, my presence, my joy.
I trust that my sense of commitment will survive this unwinding time.
This didn’t just happen. I am certain that my regular unwinding practices - walking in the park, Qi Gong, writing, singing and dancing - made that choice to unhook so much easier in Colombia.
In other words, for those of us who love to be busy, to listen to our tired souls when they call for unwinding, is a choice.
And - I know this from myself and from my clients - because it goes against the grain high-achieving work-hard grain, that choice takes practice.
Unwinding
Scotland, August 2021
These thoughts made me revisit the poem ‘Unwinding’ I wrote last year for SOULACY Magazine while in the Scottish Highlands.
Here it is.
An invitation to practice unhooking from your own ‘shoulds’, for the sake of your freedom, rest and joy.
And after this, perhaps you might go to your calendar and commit to some solid unwinding time this weekend. Ringfence an evening a week for something that has you fully relax. Schedule your holidays for the rest of the year.
Because in a world where simply being isn’t encouraged, we owe it to ourselves and each other to practice permission to unwind.
Horizon-gazing in Montserrate, Bogota, Jan 2022
Unwinding
Scotland, August 2021
My well-trodden worries had matted themselves knotty.
The same ‘what ifs’ and ‘yes buts’
Looped into an unlikely infinity of
fear
and
boredom.
A day wouldn’t do it.
A weekend proved tauntingly short reprieve.
Sometimes what’s needed is the time it takes
To unravel
A sweater worn with holes
stitch
by
stitch.
A stretch of time where counting the days
Stops making sense.
Where I can allow my thoughts to spool out,
Gently untangled by
Forests
and waterfalls.
Roadsigns
and hedgerows.
Birds wheeling.
A fish breaking water.
The indifferent, equanimous silence
Of the wild.
Broken only by the thump and rustle of my feet.
One foot in front of the other,
Not because
‘I must’
But because
‘I choose.’
Until there is more blank space than thought.
Until I’m right here, pen in hand,
Overflowing with wonder.
Marvelling at the multitude of greens an eye can see.
What was I so worried about? It all seems clearer now.
My mind is quiet and full of potential
Like yarn in a basket.
This must be why they call it ‘unwinding.’
—-
Do you find yourself feeling exhausted and overstretched?
Does your Inner Critic give you hell when you’re not productive?
Do you fear that if something doesn’t change soon, you might get burnt out?
Is it your time to flourish?
Let’s have a free 30-minute Possibility Call.
I’d love to help you discover easier, more sustainable ways
of living and leading at your best.
